1)If possible I feel that we should re-film this shot (below left), as it was filmed earlier in the day, the lighting doesn't really match the atmosphere we were trying to achieve. It should match the shot (below right) filmed in the same scene, but later in the day as the atmosphere in this shot works really well
2) The music in this shot needs to be fixed, I like the idea of making the music change from non-diegetic to diegetic when Ruby removes her earphones. However when the music returns to non-diegetic the transition is too abrupt. I think it needs to be made a more softer and smooth transition maybe with a longer cross dissolve or fade.
3) On this scene Ruby remembers an event that happened to her in the same location, however until the actual flashback this is hard for the audience to understand. Therefore I feel that we need another reference to the 'event', this could be other flashback shots or a collection of voices overlaid from the flashback.
4)I would like to actually re-film this entire scene, I do think the idea of introducing a friend of Ruby's is a good idea as it is another good way to portray her invisibility. However I feel that the way it is written doesn't work as well as it could-having Ruby's mum call seems a weak way to show that Ruby is invisible.
5) Again I would really like to re-do this scene, I believe that it could be filmed so much better and if done so would help enhance the story line. Also I feel that Emma's betrayal of her friend should be something a lot worse than just meeting with the bully seen earlier in the flashback.
Overall I am very happy with our fill so far, I think the majority of our scenes work well within the storyline. We have used a lot of effective shots including an eye-line and graphic matches. However I believe if we make the changes I have suggested above then our film could be even better.
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